Style


 * Chapter 24: Editing for Style**

24.1 Introduction 24.2 Prescriptive Grammar and Descriptive Grammar 24.3 Knowing the Author’s Intent 24.4 Parallelism 24.5 Varying Sentence Length and Structure 24.6 Sentence Inversion 24.7 Maximizing the Effect of Interrogative, Imperative, and Exclamatory Sentences 24.8 Avoiding Sexist and Discriminatory Language

**24.1 INTRODUCTION**

This chapter will address the finer points of style as they relate to technical communication. While the ideas presented here can be applied to all forms of writing, the material for this chapter was chosen with MSPTC students and faculty in mind.

"Style" is a broad term for the mechanics of the language of a particular work. These facets of writing can collectively convey a wealth of information to readers, including the "personality" of the person or company responsible for the document's creation, the purpose of the work, the writer's credibility and expertise, and the writer's relationship with the target audience.

When editing, editors should always strive to adhere to the style specifications of the publishers, companies, or writers they are working for. "Book editors may follow the house style of the publisher or of a particular discipline--sometimes with agreed-upon variations...For a multi-author work, whose chapters may have been prepared in different styles (despite the publisher's pleas to the contrary), the editor will have to impose an agreed-upon style on maverick chapters. The style of any work, as well as occasional deviations from it, must be determined by author, editor, and publisher before editing begins" (//Chicago// 72).

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**24.2 PRESCRIPTIVE GRAMMAR AND DESCRIPTIVE GRAMMAR**

A great deal of an editor's most challenging work involves striking a balance between prescriptive grammar and descriptive grammar.


 * Prescriptive grammar** refers to the precise rules of language mechanics that are taught in schools. This is the type of grammar that is specialized knowledge, and editors and teachers of language often find themselves relying on its rules to justify their revisions to documentation and students' papers.


 * Descriptive grammar** refers to the way in which language is used in everyday speech and writing. This type of grammar is most often studied by linguists, who analyze how people tend to use different words and sentence structures.

//Chicago// offers some guidance in this regard: "A light editorial hand is nearly always more effective than a heavy one. An experienced copyeditor will recognize and not tamper with unusual figures of speech or idiomatic usage [i.e., descriptive grammar] and will know when to make an editorial change and when to simply suggest it, whether to delete a repetition or an unnecessary recapitulation or simply to point it out to the author, and how to suggest tactfully that an expression may be inappropriate. An author's own style should be respected, whether flamboyant or pedestrian" (73-74).

As suggested by the above passage, deciding whether prescriptive or descriptive grammar should prevail in a given situation can be difficult, but the process does become easier as an editor gains professional and editorial experience.

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**24.3 KNOWING THE AUTHOR'S INTENT**

When making emendations to a document, whether they be substantive or minor, editors should be sure that they clearly understand the author's reasons for making the choices that resulted in the document to be edited. Knowing the author's intent can have a drastic effect on the types of stylistic changes made to a work.

For example:
 * a document may be organized in a certain way because it makes it easier for its contents to be interpreted and reused by a content management system
 * certain syntactic structures may be used throughout a work in order to facilitate an anticipated translation into a foreign language
 * a particular word, rather than one of its synonyms, may appear consistently throughout a document because it's part of the company's core vocabulary

Obtaining as much information as possible about the purpose the the document and the author's overall rationale can prevent wasted time and effort, and establishing a professional relationship with the author can facilitate the entire editing and publication process. For more information on the editor-writer relationship, see

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**24.4 PARALLELISM**

"Parallelism is saying like things in like ways. It is accomplished by repetition of words and syntactic structures in planned symmetrical arrangements....Such structures can serve everyday prose by simply sorting and characterizing items so they can be easily understood or compared" (Tufte 217-18). Thus, parallelism is a crucial consideration for editors, as it aids in reader comprehension and ensures an effective organization of ideas within a sentence.

Faulty parallelism occurs when items in a series are not structured in the same way. The examples below show the dramatic difference that seemingly minor changes can make to the clarity of a sentence (Rude 183-84).


 * **Before Editing** || **After Editing** ||
 * The major steps in changing spark plugs are //setting// the gap on the new plugs, //remove// the spark plug wire, and //install// the new plugs. || The major steps in changing spark plugs are //setting// the gap on the new plugs, //removing// the spark plug wire, and //installing// the new plugs. ||
 * Thousands of openings will occur each year resulting from growth, experienced workers //transferring//, or //retiring//. || Thousands of openings will occur each year resulting from growth, //transfers//, and //retirements//. ||

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**24.5 VARYING SENTENCE LENGTH AND STRUCTURE**

When possible, editors should try to sustain reader interest by varying the length and structure of sentences in a document. As Rude explains, "If sentences within a document all contain roughly the same number of words, the reading will become monotonous. The rhythm will lull the readers rather than keep them alert. Variety in sentence length may be desirable for its own sake, but variety can be used to emphasize key points. A very short sentence surrounded by longer ones will draw attention and thus influence a reader's perception of the significance of the content" (260).

When considering sentence length, it is important to remember that longer sentences, particularly when surrounded by other lengthy sentences, can slow down or possibly confuse readers. Conversely, having too many brief sentences in sequence can make the writing seem choppy and disrupt the flow of the passage. As is often the case in editing, striking a balance between the extremes is crucial to success.

The same reasoning for varying the length of the sentences in a passage applies to varying the their structures, as well. There is somewhat less freedom with regard to sentence structures, however, since the principles of effective writing dictate the sentences should be arranged for "end focus and cohesion" (Rude 258). Also, sentences that are too convoluted or fragmented will be confusing and frustrating for readers. Modern readers expect to be able to quickly find and understand information in a passage, so they have limited patience for sentences that are complicated for the sake of being complicated.

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**24.6 SENTENCE INVERSION**

Sentence inversion refers to the reversal of the conventional sentence structure of subject-verb-object. Examples of inverse sentence structure include subject-object-verb, as in "The jurors will no favors grant," as well as verb complement-verb-subject, as in "Favored by the committee members is the plan to renegotiate his contract" (Rude 259). Because these non-standard ways of constructing a sentence require extra processing effort on the part of the reader, they should be used sparingly in technical documents.

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**24.7 MAXIMIZING THE EFFECT OF INTERROGATIVE, IMPERATIVE, AND EXCLAMATORY SENTENCES**

While the majority of sentences that editors encounter are declarative, other sentence types are also used by writers in order to achieve various effects.

Interrogative sentences ask questions. "By asking a question and urging an answer, interrogatives demand more from readers than declaratives" (Tufte 208). Because the goal of technical writing is to inform readers and make concepts easier to understand, technical writers and editors usually try to minimize the efforts required of readers. However, interrogative sentences can be used to achieve certain stylistic effects, as shown in the table below.


 * **Stylistic Effect** || **Example** ||
 * To make a statement || "The main problem might be stated, How do we make long-term thinking automatic and common instead of difficult and rare? How do we make the taking of long-term responsibility inevitable?" --Steward Brand (Tufte 207) ||
 * To guide the reader toward an anticipated assertion or discussion || "Five years she had been married to him, she has had two children by him, she has known a long and important period (important because she is still very young) of domesticity and marital tenderness and motherhood. How does she tell us of these matters?" --Dorothy Van Ghent (Tufte 207) ||
 * To challenge a commonly held assertion or opinion || "Common sense tells us that the definition is foolproof. Or is it?" --Marjorie Perloff (Tufte 207) ||
 * To imply the answer it intends (leading question) || "Had Marilyn Monroe not been enough punished in childhood to insure her against future misfortune?" --Diana Trilling (Tufte 209) ||
 * To announce that the writer has already guided the reader to the answer (rhetorical question) || "The Spaniards, Hemingway adds, are not preoccupied by death. 'It has no fascination for them.' Can the writer say as much for himself?" --Maxwell Geismar (Tufte 209) ||

Imperative sentences give orders or instructions, with the reader usually being understood as the subject. "This is useful way to think about imperatives, for it emphasizes the relation of direct address they set up and in a sense their commanding nature" (Tufte 209). Because technical communication often involves instructing the reader on how to accomplish a particular task, editors must carefully determine the sort of relationship they want to establish with readers, as well as what readers expect from the document and what they already know about the topic at hand. Imperative sentences can also be used to give advice to the reader. Tufte offers the following example, from the writing of Leslie A. Olsen and Thomas Huckin: "Second, try to establish some contact with your listeners before you give your presentation. Converse with them, see what they're interested in, try to get to know them a little. This will help you think more about your audience and help prevent you from being paralyzingly self-conscious" (211).

Exclamatory sentences show emotion and provide dramatic emphasis. For that reason, they are rarely seen in the types of writing most commonly found in the field of technical communication. Nonetheless, they may be used sparingly to convey "the writer's personal commitment to the material and help to give the prose a lively and engaging flavor" (Tufte 215). Tufte offers the following example sentence by Maxwell Geismar: "A magnificent fragment!" While exclamatory sentences, like this one, often consist of few words, they vary in "form, length, and complexity" like any other sentence type (Tufte 214).

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**24.8 AVOIDING SEXIST AND DISCRIMINATORY LANGUAGE**

In order to avoid alienating or offending your readership, you should endeavor, whenever possible, to avoid using words that promote stereotypes or discrimination.

As stated in the //MLA Style Manual and Guide to Scholarly Publishing//, "Careful writers do not use language that implies unsubstantiated or irrelevant generalizations about such personal qualities as age, birth or family status, disability, economic class, ethnicity, political or religious beliefs, race, sex, or sexual orientation" (82). The same could be said of careful editors.

While it is a rather straightforward process to avoid making statements that violate the above principle, it is another matter entirely to edit for the more subtle instances of prejudice. For a fuller treatment of this topic, see section 4.3.3. of this guide.

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**WORKS CITED**

Modern Language Association of America. //MLA Style Manual and Guide to Scholarly Publishing//. 3rd ed. New York: MLA of America, 2008.

Rude, Carolyn D. //Technical Editing//. 4th ed. New York: Pearson, 2006.

Tufte, Virginia. //Artful Sentences: Syntax as Style//. Cheshire: Graphics P, 2006.

The University of Chicago Press. //The Chicago Manual of Style//. 15th ed. Chicago: U of Chicago P, 2003.